lucky

I’m looking over the lazy curl of the Ohio, watching the night lights of Cincinnati grow brighter. The sky itself is a mesh of of blue, grey, and dusky rose. It’s beautiful. And then it occurs to me. I have seen so many beautiful places, have stayed in ancient cities, and witnessed breathtaking wonders. I have seen so much beauty in this world … and while at the time I noticed an appreciated it, afterwards I shoved it back to the inaccessible junk pile of memory that we all have.

I have been so lucky to see the things I have seen … the sunsets, storms, deer, flowers, even the insects … on and on and on. It saddens me a little now to realize I can’t recollect it all at will. I know that’s the design of the human mind – you can’t remember everything or you’d go crazy.

But I still feel a pang, not being able to remember all of the beauty.

And it makes me wonder I’ve held on to some of the ugliness.

I have been so lucky to see what I’ve seen, to experience what I’ve experienced. Some never get to see a sunrise, a puppy catching its first ball, a best friend smile with understanding so fierce your face burns.

There are 1,000 ways to perceive beauty; 1,000 ways to perceive ugliness.

I just hope I remember more of the beauty than the ugly … or learn to make the ugly beautiful.

Regardless, I hope I remember to store the awe, the beauty, the humbling, in my heart, so I can stroke it with my fingers when I begin to forget.

I have been lucky.

Very lucky.

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